Certified Life and Business Coach

To receive this newsletter, please sign up here.


Steve's Life And Business Coaching Notes

August 2014

happiness


"Sometimes life can simply take your breath away."*

Special Subscriber Notice - A Mailing List Mia Culpa

A few months ago the host of my newsletter mailout list experienced a system-wide meltdown.   This necessitated they revert to backup data from late 2013.  So, if you attempted to join or unsubscribe from this newsletter between January and April of this year, chances are you will have to do it again.  My apologies for this. My host assures me they have now fixed the system and this will not happen again.  If you wish to unsubscribe, please click here

CONTENTS

1) On Better Managing Your Thoughts (And Thus Your Life) - We may not be able to choose our thoughts, but the very quality of life is determined by how well we manage our attention in relationship with the thoughts that appear. Here is some practical advice to help you better manage your thoughts, and enjoy much more peace, love and clarity in all aspects of your life.

2) Other Resources - I have a few interesting videos for you. Firstly, Jerry Seinfeld and Howard Stern share a few laughs and discuss their meditation practices. In a second video, Ken Wilbur talks about the paradox of balancing the day to day (relative) parts of our experience, with the unitive or absolute nature of consciousness. The third video is of Sera Beak, speaking at the Emerging Women Live event about the journey of becoming lost, reconciling the hot and sassy, divine, kickass, feminine energy and finding her soul work. Finally, for those interested in upping their charisma factor, here is a short article from Entrepreneur Magazine.

3) It's Almost Here - The Affordable, No Nonsense, Proven Marketing Program For Coaches - No big advertizing blitzes. No arm twisting. No paying 50% of tuition to get people to endorse the program to their friends. No one-size-fits-all solutions, or death by Powerpoint. I have no interest in delivering those types of programs. However, if you are still feeling a little lost and overwhelmed, and find yourself wasting way too much time trying to track down clients one at a time, and you want to get individualized and experienced support to set up a system, (that suits your personality), and attracts far more of your ideal clients, naturally, with high integrity - then you might want to check out this long-running, transformational program. Registration is opening soon and the participant list for this Fall's program is already long.


1) On Better Managing Your Thoughts (And Thus Your Life)

We like to believe we have free will, the power to choose and determine our destiny.  That is what our culture tells us and it does seem we can make choices such as whether we want pizza or sushi for dinner.

Modern neuroscience has opened up a debate about whether there is an actual choosing part of our mind, or whether most so called decisions are made subconsciously and there is just a trailing narrative that claims the action as “my” decision.  The debate rages on.

We may or may not have much choice, but there is no debate that thousands of thoughts arise in our awareness every day, and depending on which thoughts we pay attention to, they can make our life happier or miserable.  How we respond to the thoughts that arise can make a huge difference. As John Milton pointed out in Paradise Lost, the mind can make "a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven".

It is important to understand that all our thoughts are fed with attention, belief or resistance. If you feed a particular thought, it will linger, grow and spawn many subsequent thoughts. Those thoughts will attract more attention and possibly grow into feelings. If you give the feelings attention or belief they can become a solid mood.  Once a mood is set, it can greatly influence your actions, outlook and overall quality of life.

The key to better thought management is  to avoid the cascading effect of those unwanted or unproductive thoughts by withdrawing your attention early in the process, before they gather momentum. And while we may not be able to choose all our thoughts, we can definitely redirect our attention away from useless, negative or recurring thoughts and not feed them.

In practical terms, this is not something anyone ever hones to a 100% success rate. No matter how much you practice, or how mindful you attempt to be, you are still going to find your attention drifting off to feed various desires, judgments, worries, fantasies, recriminations, into the future or past, etc.  This is normal and very human. Simply try to notice it as soon as possible and withdraw your attention again and again. Direct it back on your breath, the sensations in your feet, the light shining on the trees, or pretty much anything that is not a thought or feeling. If you do this over and over, in time, you will get much better at it. And you will find there are not too many of those unwanted thoughts that can upset your emotional or mental applecart for long. The quality of your life is greatly influenced by how well you manage your attention.


“You cannot stop a bird from landing on your head,
but you can keep it from building a nest there.”

– Saint Teresa of Avila.


The Deeper Teaching

In my experience, when you wish to withdraw your attention, the very best place to direct it is back on itself. And since attention has no objective properties, this directive is guaranteed to stymie the mind – which is the idea.  You want to move beyond thought. 

Another way of saying this is that thought can never really take you to the ultimate knowing of enduring happiness, peace or love - it can only dissolve into it. When you direct attention away from any of the usual objects (thoughts, sensations, perceptions, etc.) you are really letting it fall back into its source. (In some traditions this is termed letting attention (or mind) fall back into the heart – not the physical organ but rather the center of your being and knowing.)

This teaching is not about attempting to control the mind. It is simply about preferring to knowingly reside in that place before thought, which feels like a center of undisturbable peace within, where everything is experienced, but nothing is held onto. And with time you learn to live more from this place of unearned, unconditional and unlimited love.  As you do, the dramas and struggles of life no longer drag you in and, with less self-concern, you have much more love to share with the world. Good luck.


2) Other Resources.

Here is a lovely video of Jerry Seinfeld and Howard Stern, joking and talking about their meditation practices and how it impacts their lives. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPLn1ZgGxos

For the seekers, awakening or awakened folks in the crowd, here is a Youtube video of  Ken Wilbur talking about the paradox of balancing the “nothing-needs-to-be-done” reality of the absolute,  and the very really calling to “act-out-of-love-and-intelligence” in the relative, day to day world.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5TUr949kmZk

Here is a video of Sera Beak, (author, Harvard grad, heretic, spiritual teacher, champion of the divine feminine - who has been featured on Dr. Oz and many other mainline media) speaking at the Emerging Women Live event about the journey of becoming lost, reconciling the hot and sassy, divine, kickass, feminine energy, and finding her soul work. http://vimeo.com/81465358 (This video just came to me, highly recommended, by Olivia Fox Cabane.)

For those interested in upping your charisma factor, (think likeability or perceived power to influence) here is a short article for you from Entrepreneur Magazine.


3) It's Almost Here - The Affordable, No Nonsense, Proven Marketing Program For Coaches - No big advertizing blitzes. No arm twisting. No celebrity endorsements. No paying 50% of tuition to get people to endorse the program. No one-size-fits-all solution or death by powerpoint. No big payments all up front. It is not that type of a program. However, if you are one of the thousands of coaches still wasting your time trying to track down clients one at a time, and want to get individualized, affordable and experienced support to set up a system, (that suits your personality), that connects to and attracts far more of your ideal clients - naturally, with high integrity - then you might want to check out this long-running, transformational program.

This program has been around for over 8 years. It is run by me, (a Master Coach who actually has a successful practice beyond the world of coaching) and it is specifically designed for coaches. It is based on the very best marketing practices that have been proven to work for coaches and comes with a satisfaction guarantee.

If you are sick of trying to "sell" coaching to everyone you know, and ready to learn how to attract far more of your ideal clients in a way that suits your personality and feels authentic, I invite you to check out THE 6-FIGURE PRACTICE MENTORING PROGRAM and contact me. Registration is opening soon and the participant's list for this Fall's edition of my marketing program is already long.

Coach Marketing

(Here is a new video that briefly describes the program.)


Visit Steve at Life and Business Coach Steve Mitten.


Free Subscription

To receive this free "nearly" monthly newsletter filled with valuable tips, information and articles on growth, business development and coaching, please sign up here.

* photo courtesy of James Barker and FreeDigitalPhotos.net .