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Steve's Life And Business Coaching Notes - December 2009


A shot of my home town Vancouver in late Fall. Getting ready to host the world for the Winter Olympics in February.
Photo courtesy of BigStockPhoto.com

Dear Friends,

Here we are in December, a month that for many of us entails holidays, family, celebrating the ending of one year and the beginning of another.

If you are planning any important changes in 2010, here are a few topics that will help you make it the best year ever.

All the best,



1) Changes You Just Can't Make On Your Own.

2 ) Enlightenment And Family.

3) Practice Building On a Budget - The Next 6-Figure Practice Mentor Program Is Starting.

4) Free Talk on The 10 Habits of Highly Successful (And Deeply Happy) Coaches.

1) Changes You Just Can't Make On Your Own.

You don’t have to be a genius to notice that some sort of change is always happening. Sometimes we instigate it.  Sometimes we react to it.  And sometimes it just rolls over us like a freight train.

Being such a constant companion in life, you’d think it would be a good idea to learn a little about the nature of change.  Get the lay of the land. Learn how to read the tea leaves and do it well. Learn how to ride the bigger waves of change as opposed to struggling to swim against them all the time.

Unfortunately, few of us are that lucky.  Most of us learn our lessons with change the hard way, trial and error. This is not to imply that there aren’t good teachings about the nature of change out there. (For example William Bridges’ “The Way of Transition”.) It's just that so few of us ever read about such things.

I bring this up because we are coming up to the season of change. That time of year when many of us step back, take account of our lives, and get ready for our annual resolutions. And, as we all know, most of our resolutions evaporate about as quickly as New Year’s Eve champagne.  

To aid you in making more successful changes this year, it's important to note there are some types of problems where the solution is already known. You can solve the problem and make the change you want simply by having the intention and accessing a little more information or expertise. This type of change is what Harvard's Ron Heifetz has called a “technical” problem. So, if you wanted to get in shape, build your business, or find a new career, and the right book with the necessary instructions is all that's needed to make the changes and get the outcome you desired, congratulations you have just accomplished a technical change.

However, for many of us, there are certain important changes that cannot be made by simply accessing the required additional information or expertise. As Einstein once pointed out, "our biggest problems are never solved at the same level of thinking that gave rise to them." This principle is often in play in regards to those bigger "adaptive" type of problems, which is why we struggle so hard to make some of the really important changes in our lives.

The only solution to these types of problems is growth. Adaptive change requires us to develop, to shift our current views and change our existing habits and reactions. We need to revise how we view ourselves and our world and what we think is possible. This type of change takes time, focus and accountability. In particular, this type of change takes relationship, because the natural feedback that occurs between people in a close relationship is the most effective tool in revising who we think we are, and what we believe we are capable of.

When we try to make adaptive changes all by ourselves, it's like a surgeon trying to operate on themself: simply too painful.

If you have been trying to make some important changes in your life, career or business, without success, take heart. You probably aren't a complete idiot devoid of any discipline. (As you might suspect.) Rather, you probably are simply running up against an adaptive change. If you design in the right support, you will be off and running again.

Welcome to the human race. We're all like this.

And knowing this, stop trying to do it all by yourself and find the appropriate support this year.

"Everybody wants to be somebody;
nobody wants to grow. "

- Goethe

2) Enlightenment And Family.

There is an old saying, "If you think you're enlightened, go spend time with your family." The truth in this statement is that those closest to us present our greatest challenges in self-management. (Most of us have some old buttons that our family members push better than anyone.)

So this Holiday Season, if you find yourself surrounded by those you love, who drive you crazy at times, remember that your first priority is taking care of your own peace of mind. Schedule some down time before family functions. Remind yourself of the qualities you want to share with the people you love. Put down the need to fix every problem and correct every old wrong. And anytime you notice your stress rising, simply ask yourself, "What do I need to let go of to be at peace right now?"

If, in the worse case you lose it from time to time, don't despair. Just renew your intention, re-charge your batteries, make the necessary amends, and get back into the fray.

Remember, those closest to you are some of your greatest teachers. They continually challenge you to forgive, be more patient, let go of expectations, draw healthy boundaries, and re-open your heart.

Happy Holidays.

3) Practice Building On A Budget - The Next 6-Figure Practice Mentor Program Is Here.

If you love to coach but struggle to get clients, and if you are looking for an affordable solution to move past your current limitations and get much better results, check out the new audio description of the Mentor Program I recorded at THE 6-FIGURE PRACTICE MENTORING PROGRAM.

Registration for the next Mentor Program is now open. So if you are tired of the results you are getting, and are serious about making 2010 the year you finally arrive as a successful and worry free coach, please email me at scmitten@shaw.ca to reserve a spot. 

"This is truly a transformational experience...thank you."

"Never been busier."

"I have experienced more success than I thought possible." 

4) Free Talk on The 10 Habits of Highly Successful (And Deeply Happy) Coaches.

If you are a relatively new coach still working to fill your practice, join us on December 10th for what will be an educational and lively conversation on topics that will range from practical practice building actions to personal habits that will attract more success and happiness your way.

Go to The Coactive Network and sign up for free under the "Main Events" heading.

Life Coach and Business Development Specialist Steve Mitten B.ApSc, CPCC, MCC helps individuals, professionals and leaders find their niche, be their best and make an impact.

Visit Steve at www.acoach4u.com

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