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Steve Mitten's Coaching Notes - February 2006

Dear Friends,

I hope this newsletter finds you well, and happy with what 2006 is bringing your way. 

At this end, I am very much enjoying the extra time in my life after 3 years of rather intensive volunteer work.

Personally, I am enjoying spending more time at home with our daughters and our menagerie of pets. And Laurie and I have begun to dream about various travel adventures, now that we find ourselves more mobile.

Professionally, in addition to having time to work on my business again, (including some new programs, updating my book MARKETING ESSENTIALS, and writing a new one on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION) I've been able to catch up on a lot of reading. 

There is a wealth of great information coming out that can help each of us live far happier, more productive, and less-stressed lives.

I hope to share more of this information with you over the next few months. In this edition, I have included a short piece on happiness that I hope you will find useful.

All the best,









One of the ironies of our modern existence is that even though we in the developed world; have unprecedented levels of material well-being, are living longer than ever before, have access to all the food we could ever eat, and have ridiculous amounts of technology to "make our life easier", collectively we are not appreciably happier than our predecessors. For many, our modern lives generate such high levels of stress and anxiety that we are living joyless lives of struggle, distraction, and excessive consumption that does not fill our hunger.

Over the past 10 years, there has been an exceptional amount of research looking into the science of positive psychology. While books could be written about the different theories and findings, some of the most powerful work (Seligman, Diener, etc.) can be grasped and applied by tending to three key areas:

  • Pleasure
    For higher levels of happiness, we need to know what brings us pleasure, and do those things that make us laugh, smile, and be content. (Our society is pretty adept at this. Many of us focus an inordinate amount of time and money pursuing pleasure. Unfortunately, this is the least important of the three components. In other words, the pursuit of pleasure is necessary but not sufficient to bring us happiness.)

  • Engagement
    To experience high levels of happiness, we need to be deeply engaged in our life. This includes our work, those things we do in our spare time, and especially our key relationships. (Studies are showing us to be far more social creatures than we previously thought.  As modern life precludes us from spending time with our friends and family, we suffer.)

  • Meaning 
    Significantly higher levels of happiness are experienced when we apply our personal strengths to a higher goal. (This is what we typically experience when we begin to get over self-absorption and contribute to "helping others", or work in service of a "greater good", or a "higher cause".)     

When I was a young boy, my grandmother used to tell me to "be kind", and "count your blessings". She had overcome the loss of her husband at a very young age, and managed to single handedly raise five children through the depression and second world war. She was subsequently pre-deceased by all her friends and several of her children.  Nevertheless, her kindness and attention to others allowed her to keep healthy, active, happy, and deeply loved for 96 years.  

It seems Granny had figured it out long before the Social Psychologists.  Everyday she would practice service to others, kindness and gratitude. The very things that science is now proving contribute the most to our inner happiness.  

"To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue....
[They are] gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."

- Confucius


In the early 17th century French Philosopher and Mathematician Rene Descartes, uttered the saying, "I think therefore I am."  For over 350 years now that saying has been taken by many to summarize the superiority of the intellect over the emotions.  

A wealth of recent work (including that presented in UCSF Psychiatrists Lewis, Amini and Lannon's book, "A General Theory of Love") is revealing that where intellect and emotion collide, it is emotion that provides the greater wisdom.  

For coaches there is a wealth of new information available on the power of relationship and intuitive wisdom in promoting growth, change and health. It seems that at the heart of the heart of a human being, we are very social creatures whose very health and happiness is dependent on our most intimate social relationships.      

One very simple finding is the fact that our emotions are very contagious.  In other words, your clients will be directly impacted by whatever emotional state you bring to your coaching sessions, and vise-a-versa. (Anyone with children know how quickly one child's bad mood can spread through a family.  The same dynamic is at work in an office setting or in any group of people.)  

Thus it is more important than ever to be aware, and at choice, as to the state of your emotions and their impact. With awareness you can choose  the emotional state that would most beneficially influence your client, partner, co-worker or child. 

"If you don't feel it...... neither will they."

- Carlos Santana



Each day my inbox is flooded with slickly written sales copy trying to make an compelling and urgent case to buy or act on something. From Nigerian bank scams to legitimate programs - like every other consumer these days - I am overloaded with options to consume.

In an environment with overwhelming amounts of competing products and services, it is extremely important to develop a relationship with your clients.  It is through relationship that a client will get to know you, like you, trust you, and care enough to read your email, return your calls or otherwise listen to what you might say. It is the relationship you have established that gives you a brief opportunity to educate them as to how you might be of greater service.

The bottom line in the evolving science of relationship marketing is that if you do not have a rapport with a potential client, your chances of getting noticed, considered and eventually sell something, are slim. 

When you spend the time to really understand your customers; when you take the time to truly care about their lives, careers and well-being; you invest in establishing a connection that is capable of providing ongoing value, time after time .  

If you truly respect your customers and seek to genuinely add value to their lives, they will notice, and respond.


In January, the SOS program filled up again, and in addition I launched a few new programs. 

The year-long mentor program filled in less than 2 days, so I am running another. 

For the Web Marketing program I completed a 65 page e-book designed to help anyone with a web site choose their best keywords, optimize their pages and get their sites up to the top of the search engines. (I am really enjoying leading this program, so I have decided to run another.)

I know coaches benefit from affordable support in building their businesses, and I really enjoy running these programs.  

If you are not happy with the business side of your coaching practice, feel free to check them out.


The 2006, Revised and Expanded Edition of 
Marketing Essentials For Coaches is available for review and download at:
Check out this Industry Best Seller that has helped thousands of coaches build their practices. 


The January 6-Figure Practice Mentoring Program filled in less than 2 days. Everyone has enjoyed the deeper work this program allows, especially me. 

I have 6 coaches who want me to start one in February.  If you would like to join us, please let me know quickly, and we will fix a date.  

You can read all about the program at:


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Life Coach and Business Development Specialist Steve Mitten B.ApSc, CPCC, MCC helps individuals, professionals and leaders find their niche, be their best and make an impact.

Visit Steve at


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