There’s lots to be scared of these days.
At the macro, political, economic, environmental level, any given day’s news can be deeply unsettling. At the personal level, every life has its share of significant challenges. Living a 21st century life, with all the rapid change, is hard on the nerves. Regularly, surveys testify that most of us experience moderate to high levels of stress every single month to the extent that now 1 in 6 Americans take pharmaceuticals, largely to lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety. Since our minds fixate on potential threats, and typically give them at least 3 times the attention of positive developments, it is understandable why we are becoming more and more anxious.
In response, we have developed many coping mechanisms: prescriptions, eating, shopping, other substances, denial, procrastination, temper tantrums or other forms of aggression, that head a long list of ways we deal with stress. One of the most common, and socially acceptable, avoidance behaviours is simply keeping busy, because if we keep really busy, we won’t have time to let the scary thoughts or emotions rise in our awareness. This is the coping mechanism of choice for many high achievers, as it is easy to convince ourselves that we are not avoiding discomfort, but actually accomplishing something useful.
Yet any running away from our stressful thoughts and emotions only makes them more powerful. Any type of avoidance can keep us on the surface of life, running, lost in our thoughts. It keeps us more reactive, out of touch with the healing power in our hearts, disconnected from our emotions and our connections to others and life itself. It’s a sad truth that the unobserved mind is confined to eternally pace a cage of its own making.
Modern psychology and neuroscience have come up with a number of techniques to lesson our stresses and fears. Yet, there is one ancient solution to this problem known to have a 100% efficacy. That solution is to simple stop, and choose to face whatever thoughts and emotions are coming up for you. In fact, if you simply accept whatever is currently happening, and your thoughts and feelings about it, you will prove to yourself a few very important things.
Firstly, no thought or feeling can overwhelm you for long, they will all come and then pass.
Secondly, when you face your fears, and shift your attention from perpetually feeding the story surrounding the threat, (via avoidance behaviours, belief, or the granting of attention) to simply observing anything else, including the bodily sensations you are currently experiencing, or better yet the blank knowing space between your thoughts, the scary story begins to fade.
As the story loses its power, you gain yours back. Perennial wisdom tells us, run from your fears and they get bigger. Face them, and they disappear.
Also, as the 14th century Persian poet Hafiz once observed, “The husk on the grain, needs the Millstone’s talents.” Meaning, when embraced, life’s many challenges can serve a purpose. Major challenges have a way of grinding off the triviality and superficiality of life, revealing undiscovered strengths and liberating that which is most true, enduring and important in us.
Also, when we are not dwelling on our scary thoughts, which studies have shown 85% of which never come to pass anyways, we have far more energy and creativity to deal wisely with whatever is happening.
Challenging times can scare us but they can also bring out the very best in us.
Grow Your Business
Here is the third and fourth installment of my video series designed to help small business owners, coaches, consultants, independent professionals and other solopreneurs get far more business online.
Websites Best Practices
In this video I cover some of the key principles and best practices, as well as the most common mistakes small business owners make on their websites. https://youtu.be/f4-Nr6dSavM
Social Media Basics
This video explains why you want to learn more about the digital revolution and this latest, cheapest and very quick way to dramatically build your reach, credibility, connections and revenues with large numbers of your ideal clients. I also share some social media basics to help you get started.
Grow Your Coaching Skills
In this video I talk about the nuances of managing the impact of your natural energetic inclinations.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJb2R-5ESpM&t=7s
Coaches Wanting More Clients
The Fall edition of my affordable marketing program for coaches, which includes individualized attention through 1 to 1 work with me, is now open for registration. You can check it out here https://acoach4u.com/for-coaches/steves-6-figure-practice-marketing-program/ and email or message me for a chat if you think you are a fit.
Keeping In Touch
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